Published on by knowledgeability

Yesterday, I was talking to someone who is having some problems with his girlfriend (I think they are engaged but I not sure) and her girlfriend ask for some time to think about their relationship because she is not so sure they should be together. This happened last week and he did tell me the situation and yesterday, he just told me how it was going. While talking to him, he said something very interesting about what his partner said; she said that : “It’s my fault is you’ve changed, I’ve changed you, I prefer the one I knew first”.

This sentence strike me and I thought that very often, what causes separation between people who first was deep in love is that somewhere, somehow, something changed. I remembered a situation where someone was told by his partner that she preferred when the guy was jealous because the girl knew the guy loved her and guess what, at that time, the guy was trying to changed because he felt that being jealous might break their couple. There is something weird about this. Just take the example of the guy who was jealous, he was trying to be a better man but it was not what her girlfriend was looking for, she was looking for the same man she knew first. This mean that we not only look for qualities from our partner nor flaws but we look for the first encountered person, the first encountered personalities, we look for the one we once knew and the once we wanted to be part of our life.

Now that we know we should not changed, what should we changed because it remains that we know there are flaws our partner don’t like and we should changed. Change the least possible because if you think about it, your partner is with you because he/she liked the person you were on that day you both met. She/he didn’t think about how they could change you in time but fell in love with the one you love. So, if you still think there is room for improvement for you, just improve yourself but don’t changed. You were jealous, be jealous but instead of shouting out loud after her if she is late, just be calm but still ask your questions, this is not changing, this is improvement.

So, I think the (second) first post will help you and till our next exchange… don’t forget to cheerio…

Published on Relationship

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